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No, I think I need the spanking as well, but on its own it's never been enough.
Spanking is something that I've always had a craving for, and that my husband has always done because he knows I want it. But it never made me feel submissive except for very brief periods.
What has been the big turn-on for me is that he now controls his temper instead of losing it, he doesn't let my bad temper goad him into losing his, thereby feeding my own anger. Instead he is able to subdue my own temper with a word, or sometimes just a look.
Knowing that I'm going to get spanked is very arousing for me, but it has never in itself been enough to make any change to my feelings or attitude, being spanked never changed anything for me, and indeed it still doesn't.
I don't have the very dramatic emotional reaction to being spanked that some people on this site have described, not even nowadays when I get spanked a lot longer and harder than ever before. I don't feel changed or transformed or anything. Usually I just feel like a good fuck.
I've never had any interest in the idea of physical force, or of what is called 'consensual non-consent'. If my husband tried to drag me out to spank me when I was in a bad mood it would be disastrous, it would just make me angrier and more upset. I need to go willingly (if apprehensively) or it doesn't work for me. But if I didn't get the spanking I'd probably get very frustrated. But it seems to work differently for me than it does for some others. I can't be spanked into submission, I need to be made to feel submissive before being spanked. He could spank me till his arm dropped off, but if I wasn't feeling submissive to start with, it wouldn't change anything.